A post from me, Garfield the Magnificent.

It’s been a long while since I’ve posted anything, but my two-legged has made a lot of changes in her life, which I’ve been trying to accommodate. It hasn’t been easy, but I’ve done my best.

I think the last time I managed to get some time at the keyboard was when she was chasing me around, trying to get me into that dratted plastic box. I managed to resist all her attempts, right up until the time when things in the house started disappearing into cardboard cartons (which I thought were for me to play in). One morning, she swooped me off the bed and carried me down the hall to the bathroom and before you knew it, I was in that plastic contraption. She’d been carrying me down the hall several times a week for a while, and she lulled me into contentment. It was just a ploy. I won’t fall for it again.

Then we went somewhere where another two-legged took me and put me in a large cage in a room with lots of other dogs and cats. Well, I would show her! I refused to come out when they came to take me to trim my claws, a humiliating experience, and to jab me with some needles. I decided to go on a hunger strike, too, but that didn’t last long. I, Garfield the Magnificent, need to keep my figure.

I spent a long time in that cage, over a week I was told by the other cats there, but finally one day I was rudely pulled out of the cage and put back in the box. I heard her voice, telling me we were going home, not to our old home but a new home. She opened the box in a square white room with my litter pan and some food and she closed the door and left me alone for a while. What was she thinking? I was just glad to be back with her, which I showed her for the next three days. I can be very charming, you know.

This new place isn’t too bad. My cat tree appeared in the place where she works, right in front of a large glass window so I can watch the birds at their feeder and try to get at the squirrels that wander up on the patio. I scratch that glass pretty good when I see them but so far haven’t been able to get through. It also has a rug that I’ve done my best to destroy by picking, but so far it’s held up annoyingly.

There are no stairs in this place! I used to love running up and down the stairs. Now I have to be satisfied with running the length of the house, making a sudden U-turn, and running back. The sound of my claws on the wood is very satisfying though.

I am getting more used to strange people. I will casually stroll out to the living room area and sniff their pant legs. There are usually some remarkable odors for me to enjoy. I also have two different two-leggeds who come and visit or stay with me when my own two-legged is away. I get lots of pets, sometimes more food than I’m usually allowed (if I am extra needy and sweet), and brushing. Brushing sends me right to purr heaven.

I have a hiding place in the closet where I can sleep if it’s particularly noisy, but I usually sleep on my cat tree or the bed, if that two-legged forgets to make it up in the morning. It’s also where I sleep at night, in between rounds of fighting with a stuffed rat or a squirrel or a bone that I’ve ripped apart. She complains when the battles on the bed wake her up, but I’m only protecting her.

Well, that’s my life for now, but I am extra wary that she might bring out that plastic box again. She recently told me I need to have my teeth cleaned.




30 thoughts on “A post from me, Garfield the Magnificent.”

    1. Whatever you do, Garfield, don’t give up finding new ways to make sure they notice you! And don’t let them know that you are on to them either. The best thing to do is to pretend you love them. Then — take them by surprise — when they are leaning down, jump onto their back. So much fun! I can’t begin to tell you how funny it is when my two-legged has to walk to the bed with her back bent because I am holding on with my claws! This morning I refused to get off. 🙂

      Yours in catitude,

      1. I got her on Monday! She thought she was clever and could get me into the box again – she said I needed something like “shots.” But I wiggled out of it and hid. Bwaa-ha-ha. I rule!

  1. What a busy life you live, Garfield. I myself am heading for 17years so I found when I get my nails manicured I don’t squirm but put out each paw and say “Cut it and hurry up”. The manucratorist says I’m the best cat she deals with and squanders lots of treats on me – which I would recommend. From your New Zealand first cousin twice removed. Pussycat

    1. No one comes near my claws, Pussycat, unless they restrain me. I think that’s why my two-legged put lovely posts for scratching all over the house.

      1. YES! Rebel (Maine Coon) and Shadow (American black short hair). Reb and Shadow say, ‘Hi Garfield! Like you, we love our brushing and hate to see the travel box. Great to chat with you today!” <3 xo

  2. Garfield, you have had quite the experiences of late! I know cats are creatures of habit and dislike having their routine upset, but it sounds like your two-legged has provided all that is good and wonderful for you (plastic box and cage aside).
    Enjoy your new home and all the adventures it will bring, As always, your photos show what a charmer you are!

    1. My two-legged told me you like others of my ilk, so thank you. Right now I am hanging around on the bed trying to catch her attention because it’s time for FOOD.

  3. Does Garfield walk or have some sort of feline sedan chair? He looks very stately, sort of Louis XIV meets coco Chanel and he’s rehabilitating gingers after a certain irritating young Prince decided to be worthy and gave them a bad name.

    1. I’ve been thinking of building him a throne with a scratching post attached! I’m glad he is rehabilitating gingers after the debacle with one who has been named Hairymeg.

  4. Garfield it sounds like you escaped the worst of the turmoil that is ‘moving day’ even though you had to stay in a strange place. And the new place sounds pretty good. I’m sure your two-legs are happy with it in many ways, although of course it’s not their old home and they probably miss that too. So you carry on grooming them and letting them know you like it, so they feel better themselves.
    Enjoy the squirrels!

    1. My two-legged says you speak from experience. And I do enjoy those squirrels. One day I might even get a real one, but my stuffed one is working fine for now.

  5. Poor kitty! I’m sure you’ll enjoy your new digs, though if you’re anything like Ody, nothing is worth the torture of being caged up and taken to some foreign cat jail for a week!

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