Uncategorized

Regicide begins with a description of a historical event: King William of England, known as William Rufus (1087-1100) died after being struck by an arrow while he was hunting in Normandy, shot by a person unknown. His younger brother Henry succeeded him with such great haste that murder was suspected, but never proven. The real story commences in 1119, when Hilary (a person who did exist), a traveling teacher, sometime poet and clerk in Holy Orders, is let go from his position as a tutor to the daughter of the Lord of Beaugency, after she dies of St. Anthony’s fire (ergot poisoning, common in France and Germany at the time). Taken by cart with his books and papers to the Loire River, from where he could go by boat to Orleans in search of a new position, he spends the night at a riverside inn. There he meets John of Muchelney who buys the impoverished young man his dinner and afterwards plays dice with him. When Hilary loses, his debt is discharged by his obligation to take a bulky pouch to Count Fulk of Anjou. The next morning, Hilary finds John horribly murdered and fearing himself in danger, eschews the boat and quickly begins the many days’ walk to Orleans and then Chartres. Still feeling himself followed, he goes on to Paris to consult with his old tutor and Master, Peter Abelard, in the hopes of some direction as to what to do. When he and Abelard read the contents of the pouch entrusted to Hilary, they realize that it is part of a conspiracy to overthrow King Henry, a message about who benefitted from the death of William Rufus, and about the Great Jewel of Alfred the Great, which had been missing since 1066.  Despite the fact the contents puts Hilary in the crosshairs of both sides of the debate, he nevertheless feels his vow to deliver its contents is unbreakable and Abelard decides to help Hilary fulfill his promise. The author weaves many historical characters in and out of this story – Heloise, Fulk of Anjou, Walter Tirel, Hugues de Payen – as our pair travels as far as Jerusalem in search of Fulk, then returns with the rejected pouch contents to present to King Henry as a sign of goodwill. Death follows them, and the reader is treated to the Tower of London, along with a mass of other historical details. The story reminded me no small amount of the adventures of Don Quixote and Sancho Panza. Peter Abelard is the philosopher, deep thinker, orator and teacher, while Hilary, his student, is the grounding and querying sidekick. I loved the history around which this novel is woven – that of the Anglo-Saxons – and I found the detail captivating. However, because of this detail, the book must be read slowly to absorb everything and I found myself doing some online searching of the history. It also varies from slow and ponderous exposition to scenes filled with action and tension. Luckily there was enough of the latter to keep me going! If you like historical fiction and an alternative and intriguing story of an ages-old mystery, and you don’t mind the occasional slow pace, then Regicide is a book for you. This review is offered as a member of Rosie’s Book Review Team. I purchased this book for review. About the Author David Boyle is a British author and journalist who writes mainly about history and new ideas in economics, money, business and culture. He lives the South Downs, in Sussex, and writes in a small green hut at the end of his garden. He has found that history now absorbs him the most, from Richard the Lionheart to Enigma and a great deal in between. He tries to recapture some of the spirit, even the magic, of the past in his books Alan Turing: Unlocking the Enigma, Before Enigma, Operation Primrose, Rupert Brooke: England’s Last Patriot, Peace on Earth: The Christmas Truce of 1914, Jerusalem: England’s National Anthem, Unheard Unseen: Warfare in the Dardanelles, Towards the Setting Sun: The Race for America and The Age to Come. You can find David Boyle on twitter @davidboyle1958 and on his website: http://www.david-boyle.co.uk/ Regicide can be found on Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/Regicide-Peter-Abelard-Great-Jewel-ebook/dp/B01IPCCKJ8 0 0

James Osborne recently posted on the origin of Winnie-the-Pooh. This story is so charming I am re-blogging it here so more people can enjoy it. Winnie-the-Pooh: The Forgotten Connection Special thanks to CBC Radio for an interview that resurrected this little known story about the origins of Winnie-the-Pooh. Here’s a summary. Winnie-the-Pooh was born in Canada! Well, sort of. It all began in 1914. The First World War was underway in Europe. The Canadian Army was in desperate need of trained personnel to care for the thousands of horses used by the cavalry. A young veterinarian in Winnipeg heeded the call. Harry Colebourn soon found himself on a train with scores of other young men destined for the army base in Val Cartier, Quebec. A few hours into their journey the train stopped in White River, Ont., to take on water and coal for the steam engine. Like many other soldiers, Harry stepped off the train to stretch his legs. Standing beside the tracks was a man who turned out to be a trapper. He was holding a tiny black bear cub, only a few days old. He had trapped and killed its mother. Harry loved animals of every kind. He offered the trapper $20 for the cub. That was a handsome amount in 1914. They made a deal. Read the rest at: Winnie-the-Pooh: The Forgotten Connection 0 0

My list is long, have patience! https://monstamind17.wordpress.com/ is the blog of Jeff Chamberlain, who likes to help others through community work, blog on different topics (mainly on You Tube!), and is into coffee and energy drinks (coffee, yum). In one post on You Tube entitled ‘he is cold in these bushes,’ he talks to a homeless man who lives outside in the bushes. Wow.   https://rocworld.wordpress.com/2016/ is the blog of Apata Olusola Emmanuel, a Christian, a creative writer and blogger, a copywriter (freelancer), who loves writing about anything he sees adding value to life and destiny. His pastime includes reading, studying, searching and researching. https://tinkbug78.wordpress.com/author/tinkbug78/ has had a tough time, living with anxiety and panic attacks. She has two daughters who give her reason to keep going and her message is stay strong, stay brave, keep trying and never give up. You might want to stop by and offer her some encouragement and support. Sam Burgess at https://thedrawingwriter.wordpress.com/home/  is the drawing writer who creates  short stories, long stories, poems, drawings, comic stories, and photography. And he illustrates! He is just starting out, so give his blog a look! Prateek at https://pkthebest.wordpress.com/about/ is seventeen and a student in Delhi, India, who has just completed school and at the start of his blog was preparing for the SAT. Hs name means ‘symbol,’ and he wants to be a symbol for inspiration and motivation. He likes to travel and admires Bear Grylls and likes sports. Drop by and give him encouragement! https://bookloverwrites.com/ Trisha Ann is 24 years old, a stay at home Mom with three girls, a reader, a writer, a lover of yoga and the outdoors. She reviews books and is currently deeply into NaNoWriMo! https://vivianparkinderosa.wordpress.com/  Vivian Parkin Derosa blogs at Writing with Style on writing, fashion, and literary life. She is a teenager who has finished her first book, writing literary fiction that has adult main characters. She also likes writing short stories, blog posts, poetry, and performing spoken word. Kourtney at  klbradleyreviews  is a 23-year- old mother and a full-time accounting manager for a real estate/trucking company. She’s also a part time book reviewer for Onlinebookclub.org, so you’ll see most of her reviews on her blog. She sounds like someone we authors should get to know! I found her on Goodreads and hope to get a blog site soon. Bryde Enoh at https://brydeenoh.wordpress.com was born in 1997 in Cameroon. He is a college student whose main aim is to bring information to people and you will find his blog wonderfully eclectic and interesting. https://decorumcurva.wordpress.com is a collection of amateur and professional photographs featuring curvy women of many shapes and sizes modeling an assortment of clothing fashion; makeup and hair styles. I would call this just short of X-rated, though. Marjo Dice Degoro blogs at https://sikwate.wordpress.com about mountaineering, camping, backpacking, people and their stories, food, prose and poetry– it’s his journal and he welcomes you to join him. Purva at A Daily Stroll (https://sudershana.wordpress.com) is a university student pursuing a degree in English literature. Her interests range from dramatics to dance to debate. She blogs because she likes writing and sharing her thoughts. 0 0

This is in response to Sue Vincent’s photo prompt for this week: https://scvincent.com/2016/11/10/thursday-photo-prompt-secrets-writephoto/ Sister Alys had been kneeling on the stone floor of the church for hours, at one point prostrating herself on the floor. She prayed for salvation, knowing nothing would save her in this world. She had joined the convent when it became apparent that no man would have her as wife, and her family could no longer provide food for all the mouths around the table. Surprisingly, she had come to love her life as a nun. Her job was to work in the fields, something she had done since she was toddler, following behind her mother, father or one of her older siblings. Even as a nun, the changing seasons, the wildlife, and the sun or rain on her face gave her the same sense of contentment she’d had as a child. Rising to pray at matins and prime was a welcome routine, and her fellow nuns were her family. The sun was shining brightly through the windows when she finally stood. Then she heard the clanking of armor, the thudding of hooves, and the imperious voice. “All of you, come out.” Sister Alys straightened her shoulders and walked to the door and her fate. 0 0

We went to a Steep Canyon Rangers concert last night and came away again convinced this is the premier bluegrass band in the country. We heard them last year and if anything, their music has gotten even better. The group formed in 2000 when Woody Platt (guitar), Graham Sharp (banjo) and Charles Humphrey (upright bass) were undergraduates at the University of North Carolina. Soon Mike Guggino (mandolin), a childhood friend of Platt’s, was asked to join.  Drummers and fiddlers have changed over the years. In 2004, Nicky Sanders approached the band for the position of full-time fiddle player and subsequently joined. Mike Ashworth has been the percussionist for some time and you will note in thee You Tube videos that he plays a box, which is a drum for bluegrass bands. Last year, Jerry Douglas joined them on the dobro, a type of acoustic guitar with steel resonating disks inside the body under the bridge. In 2001, the Rangers took first prize in Lyons, CO at the Rocky Grass Festival competition, an amazing accomplishment for one year in existence. The next year the band won Emerging Artist of the Year at the International Bluegrass Music Association Awards ceremony. Following the release of their fifth album in 2007, the band received two more IBMA nominations for Best Album and Gospel Performance of the Year and in 2010, Sanders’s fiddle tune “Mourning Dove” was nominated for IBMA Instrumental Song of the Year. In 2013, the Steep Canyon Rangers’ solo album Nobody Knows won a Grammy for Best Bluegrass Album.  They are good, really good. In May 2009, Steep Canyon Rangers were asked by banjoist/comedian Steve Martin to perform with him (as a sextet) in a benefit concert, which was met with much acclaim. Martin subsequently asked the Rangers to accompany him on a “world bluegrass tour” taking the group to venues such as Carnegie Hall (New York), Royal Festival Hall (London) and the Wang Center in Boston. We are going to see Steve Martin and the SCR this spring and can’t wait. The SCR’s music is hand clapping and danceable and crosses genres from jazz to symphonic and Back. As individual musicians, the band members are superb but together they are much more. An interesting side item: the SCRs began their career playing at Linda’s,an infamous beer joint in downtown Chapel Hill. I used to go there in the 1980s with the first year medical classes after the Thursday afternoon labs. I usually joined them after I’d picked up my son – he came with me in a carrier on my back! Enjoy these pieces! And a version of Orange Blossom Special which features Steve Martin and the incredible fiddling of Nicky Sanders, who can make a fiddle talk! 0 0

Sing this to ‘Where Is Love?’ from Oliver!             Wheeeree is fall?             Will it ever come at all?             Are those leaves beneath the willow tree?             Is it time to wear a shawl? Forgive the last line. I ran out of creativity. Anyway, fall is here, but not as usual. These are two views from an upstairs window in my house. On the left, sort of fall color. On the right, still green. ; But, Christmas is coming! This is a picture of my Christmas camellia tree, with dozens of buds. Look for the little green balls. If they aren’t killed in a sudden freeze, they will become beautiful, feathery pink blossoms in December. 0 0

I’ve been remiss lately about recognizing new followers and as a result, there is a huge backlog. I promise to get to all of you in good time, so please be patient with me. I am working on my fourth book in the RHe Brewster Mystery series and also have started tutoring middle school students. What a hoot! The students, but hopefully parts of the book, too! pri49 at https://roundworldwithangles.wordpress.com is a really, really, new blogger. Recent posts include thoughts on how a new writer struggles and simple tips on how to make cleanliness easy. Stop by and give her a boost! https://blongshong.com/2016/09/08/monkey-bar-kolkata/ This is a multi-person blog. Devpurna Talapatra is a lawyer by day, the quintessential bengali dreamer by night, a foodie since toddler days and oh, an up-cycler on weekends too! Devlina Talapatra is just another Bengali woman proud of her Rabindrasangeet and Rosogolla roots and a psychiatrist, still picking up the shells on the Freudian shore. Archya Sengupta is a trying-to-be-global bangali babu, who is attempting to carve out a niche for himself in blogosphere, having had mixed results in Medicine Practice. In short, a struggling artist. Recent posts are on new fatherhood, food, Indian culture, lifestyle and health. venkat457  Dang, another gravatar! https://3pimk.wordpress.com/2016  Ivana Velickovik is Macedonian and a designer of unique fashion clothes and jewelry. And the owner of 3pi Positive Collections. She blogs in both English and Russian! There are some gorgeous high fashion clothes on this website! https://leasyah.wordpress.com/about/ Leasyah is another young blogger who likes to post on everything from her thoughts to health and beauty to careers and fashion. Her most recent posts have been on events from around the world! dajanablach – just a gravatar! Why do followers do this? https://nicholassogard.com Nicholas Sogard wants to find a theorem that can explain most thoughts of humanity.  He is an avid statistics consumer and sees a probability in every event, believing the sweetest victories come from the utmost underdog situation. Music is one of the most influential factors that defined his personality.  His latest posts are on ‘millennial syndrome’ and how Rock saved him! https://suvarnaventures.wordpress.com/ is written by a man who quit his well-paying corporate career to pursue his passion, not knowing what life had in store ahead of him. He has thoughtful posts on humans, relationships and the challenges of an entrepreneur pursuing a dream. See a recent thoughtful post on male-bashing. https://cthroughmyeyessite.wordpress.com  Gayatri is an finance professional ,spending most of her time in share market. Her hobbies include makeup and cooking and her blog is all about women empowerment and women related issues. Mikey at https://mikeysblogging.com is a young British guy who has just moved to the big city and just started his first job. He noticed, before moving, that there was very little information about what it’s like living in a big city like London and starting a graduate job. He concluded he would be the source of this information for others. His posts are really interesting – could provide great information for a character! Sultan Sayyad at http://www.alltechbuzzindia.com talks about living a boss free life through blogging and his posts are all things in the blogosphere. http://www.pemvimautomobile.com is all about cars! Wooden cars, soar cars, training cars – it is written by a team and should really please any car fanatics out there. Jazlyn Mercer at https://faithanddfashion.wordpress.com is a devout Christian who blog about fashion. She shop deals, sales, and thrift in order to look good and is a great photographer. Prapti Choudary at https://praptiweb.wordpress.com posts a personal journal about her life in India. Ali at https://devouringbooksandlattes.wordpress.com is newly married and has created a book blog.  Her recent posts comment on a Fall Bookish Bingo, where you fill in a Bingo card with books read and enter for a giveaway. This is run my Bekka at Pretty Deadly Reviews. Pretty cool idea! 0 0

I turned the tables on Christoph (who recently interviewed me: https://writerchristophfischer.wordpress.com/2016/10/10/mystery-mondays-interview-with-n-a-grainger) and asked him to answer some of the questions he sends out to other authors when he does the interviewing. Imagine we are sitting in an old pub somewhere in Wales, fire in the fireplace, noise bustling around us, and pints of semi-warm, flat British beer or maybe some good stout on the table.  Maybe a packet of crisps, too? NG: Tell me about the concept behind your books. How did you get the idea? CF: I always wanted to write something more humorous than my historical fiction and dramas and the character of Bebe Bollinger has been in my head for a long time. She didn’t fit the other books, so when we were snowed in a few years back, I began to see the situation through her eyes. The murder plot came to me because of my partner’s love for cosy mysteries. Throw in a few odd ball characters and an unusual detective and you have all the ingredients. NG: Well, you’ve certainly created a memorable character and I see from the book title that Bebe will be back! Who is your favourite Detective? CF: Miss Marple, played by Margaret Rutherford. Always was and always will be. NG: I agree with you there. I loved her as Madame Arcati in Blithe Spirit. Tell us about Bebe, your main character. CF: Bebe Bollinger had a few chart hits in the 70ies and 80ies and has wanted to return to the limelight for some time. Plagued by a daughter likely to cause a scandal, a lazy agent and some quirky neighbours the last thing she needs is a murder in her hamlet. Beth Cooper, the assigned detective, has recently been dumped by her girlfriend, sways between drink and chanting and has her boss breathing down her neck. The last thing she needs is another difficult murder case. NG: Both of these women bring great tension to the story in different ways. Who would you cast to play the characters in a movie? CF: I would prefer to cast someone against type in those roles. Quite often the best performances are those by people who weren’t the obvious choice for those roles. I could imagine Brenda Blethyn, Miranda Richardson or Barbara Hershey make this a huge success, but naturally, Bette Midler or Tina Fey (with age makeup) could play Bebe well. Ruth Jones or Eve Myles would be my favourites for Beth Cooper, but maybe Jennifer Lawrence or Miranda Hart could do the job just as well. NG: These are all great choices. I can see Bette Midler really taking on Bebe and playing her over-the-top personality to a T.  Your dominant characters are mainly women, but do you think you have any of their qualities? How so? CF: In this book I don’t think I am quite like any of the characters, which is what I enjoyed the most. The genre allows for some extra flamboyancy and over the top characterization. A dear friend said that my character came through in the book, but it hasn’t manifested itself in one specific person in the novel. NG: Do you throw in Red Herrings? CF: Yes, as many as I can. NG: Having read the book, I can vouch for that!  Are you a plotter or a pantser? Do you plot the entire novel and know who did it before you start, or can that change? CF: I have a basic plot outline but my writing and characters are both very dynamic and it changes several times throughout the book. In this particular case, I wrote it with four possible endings in mind and threw in hints and possibilities for all of the variations throughout. When I reached 87 of 100, two options were no longer possible and I settled for one. I then had to go back and delete what was now redundant and add a few bits and bobs. It’s hard work for the editing team but more fun to write. If I didn’t know who did it, then the readers should find it also more difficult than if I knew from chapter one. NG: I completely agree. It’s so much more fun writing when you yourself aren’t sure who ‘dunnit’. What are you working on now? CF: I’m currently working on the sequel The Healer, my psychological thriller about a faith healer. This time the characters meet again in the Caribbean to pick up the loose ends from book one. And I’m jotting down various ideas for the next Bebe book. So far, feedback and sales have been better than I anticipated and I have a lot of ideas for more Bebe adventures. NG: I’m glad to hear that – I want to read more of her. I plan to read The Healer soon, too. What do you do when you aren’t writing? I walk my dogs, cycle, feed the animals, do jigsaws, organise book fairs and festivals, read, socialise and am politically active, too. Never a dull moment, not enough hours in the day. NG: What makes you laugh? CF: Silly comedy, slap stick, adolescent humour. NG: Some of that comes through in The Body in the Snow! If you could invite anyone past or present to have dinner with you, who would you ask? CF: I like a good debate and would love to put the world to rights with Putin, May, Trump, Clinton and Merkel. Maybe Bobby Carnivale and Mark Wahlberg to look at, Tina Fey and Amy Shumer for the humour. NG: Funny you should mention Bobby Carnivale. I’ve followed him since he first appeared on TV in Third Watch. He’s blowing it out of the water in Boardwalk Empire. As for Mark Wahlberg… Thanks so much for taking time to chat with me today, Christoph. The beer’s on me! Here is where you can contact Chrstoph: Website: http://www.christophfischerbooks.com/ Blog: http://writerchristophfischer.wordpress.com/ Goodreads: https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/6590171.Christoph_Fischer Twitter: @CFFBooks, @WriterCFischer Twitter: https:/twitter.com/CFFBooks Pinterest: http://www.pinterest.com/christophffisch/ Google +: https://plus.google.com/u/0/106213860775307052243

A fellow blogger and excellent writer, Christoph Fischer, just ventured into my domain with his cozy mystery, The Body in the Snow. So of course I had to read the book! The book has three distinct parts: the first is the crime, brief but graphically suggested. The second is really what I’d call a chick lit piece because it describes the residents in three country cottages in Llangurrey in Wales, an idyllic but remote setting. It begins eight days before the crime and the reader is first introduced to the residents of the three cottages through the eyes of Bebe Bollinger – who will clearly be back in subsequent books since this is a Bebe Bollinger mystery. Bebe is an egocentric, past-her-prime chanteuse who awakens to a continuous heavy snowfall that has closed businesses and schools and all the area roads, cutting her and her neighbors off from the rest of civilization. Bebe is a hoot, in my opinion, so aware of her image that she doesn’t buy enough food to see her through the storm because she refused to be seen emptying shelves in the local market. I loved the image of her emerging from her house during the snow storm in her mink coat and fur Russian-style hat with high heel leather boots. Her main connection to the outside world is her daughter Helena, to whom she barely relates. One of her neighbors is Dora, ten years younger than Bebe, a stunning and colorful woman recently divorced from the scion of a wealthy, local family. The third set of neighbors are Ian and Christine. Ian is friendly and gregarious when his wife is not around; Christine is, to put it nicely, a bitch. She complains to her neighbors about all sort of things – putting their garbage bins out too early, parking to close to the space in front of her cottage. Roughly a third of the book is devoted to developing these characters in caustically humorous detail and exploring their relationships, which allows the reader to consider who might have done the crime, when the body in the snow is finally found. The third part of the book begins when the body is identified as the wife of a man currently engaged in a public affair with Helena. He, Helena and the wife have visited Bebe at one time or other. But the body is found in front of Ian and Christine’s cottage, and the rest of the book is devoted to the investigation of Detective Sergeant Beth Cooper. Cooper is a gay alcoholic on the wrong side of thirty, who is given the case by her superior because he is convinced she is in a downward spiral – and this case will seal her fate. Her girlfriend has recently left her and things couldn’t get much worse, until she begins her investigation of the body in the snow. In the midst of all this weaves Bebe’s attempted comeback to the music scene, the oddly toxic relationship of Ian and Christine, Helena’s in-her-mother’s-face relationship with her married boyfriend, and the flamboyant Dora, who had an argument with the victim. I truly believed at one point that the duck out of water Cooper would be unable to solve this ‘who dunnit,’ a powerful statement to the convincing characterizations of the author. Tension and personality clashes add to the seemingly disconnected threads of the mystery. Thank heavens he ties it all up in convincing fashion! For a first dip in the cozy field, this award-winning historical and crime fiction writer has taken the gold. I highly recommend this book for an intriguing and never boring read! About the author Christoph Fischer was born in Germany, near the Austrian border, but moved to Hamburg in pursuit of his studies and to lead a life of literary indulgence. After a few years he moved on to the UK where he now lives in a small town in West Wales. He and his partner have three Labradoodles to complete their family. Christoph worked for the British Film Institute, in Libraries, Museums and for an airline. He is a prolific writer: The Luck of The Weissensteiners was published in 2012; Sebastia‘ in 2013 and The Black Eagle Inn also 2013 completing his Three Nations Trilogy.  He then published two contemporary novels Time to Let Go and Conditions in 2014. The sequel Conditioned was published in 2015, along with a medical thriller The Healer. Two more historical novels, In Search of a Revolution and Ludwika came out in December 2015. You can find Christoph in many places: Website: http://www.christophfischerbooks.com/ Blog: http://writerchristophfischer.wordpress.com/ Goodreads: https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/6590171.Christoph_Fischer Twitter: @CFFBooks, @WriterCFischer Twitter: https:/twitter.com/CFFBooks Pinterest: http://www.pinterest.com/christophffisch/ Google +: https://plus.google.com/u/0/106213860775307052243 LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/profile/view?id=241333846 Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/WriterChristophFischer?ref=hl 0 0

I worked on the machine over the weekend (my wife now giving me longer sidelong glances, for the laundry was forming foothills around me in the laundry room) before the next mountain I had to bring to Mohammed’s Repair Shop. I realized I needed the dreaded SPECIAL TOOL (note the capital letters, folks, it means great danger to a wallet) to undo that thingamajig to get to the gizmo behind the whatchamacallit that I THOUGHT was the problem. At least that is what the troubleshooting portion of the manual told me. I tried to undo it using what I thought was a clever combination of a long screwdriver, visegrips, a toothbrush (only the handle part, which will never, ever be the same), and one of my wife’s old hairpins. I succeeded in dropping the hairpin and a retaining spring clip for the thingamajig into the aforementioned small black hole of infinity. I began to use the acronym for Small Hateful Infinity Territory. I only mention this because I began to use this acronym with greater frequency after the small black hole seemed to suck small precious things right out my hands, probably due to the funnel-shape at the opening of the hole which had been thoughtfully provided by the machine manufacturer. Cunning devils, those designers. Meanwhile, the foothills of laundry built higher into small mountains under the impatient eye of my wife, who knows the next time I need a shirt for something and it isn’t clean, I won’t have one, and don’t come complaining to her. It’s this way I have of reading the way she crosses her arms in front of her. I know, it’s a gift, the way I can translate these things. I went back to the shop to buy a new spring clip to fasten the whatnotthingamajig  back to the whatzit. I tried to explain the thing to the kid behind the counter in the shop. He just stood there and nodded his half-shaven chin up and down with a small smile. Without a word, without so much as looking in a parts book, he left for the back of the store. Much to my surprise, he came back immediately from his trip to the storeroom with exactly the right part. “Thought you’d be needin’ this.” he said between popping gum smacks. And with far too smug a smirk. Cheeky kid. Again, ching ching. Oh, and the special tool. Ching ching. Slowly I began to figure out one of the most closely guarded secrets of appliance repair. I had thought the reason repairmen take so many breaks from work is out of laziness. My friends, this is not so, not so at all. Nothing could be further from the truth. The deep truth of it, the reason they take so many breaks from work is so they can sneak up on the machine to fix it, because that is apparently the only way it can be done. The theory goes something like this: If you work on a machine for too long a time in one sitting, it gets tired of playing with you. When this happens, the machine tends to mess itself up further. The purpose is so the machine can continue to rest from its labors, (which was the intent of the self-sabotage in the first place) and they accomplish this by faking failure. This is done to the accompaniment of mechanical laughter, which we, as puny humans, interpret as the symptomatic sounds of the thing being broken. Ha. After many hours, many labors, I finally thought I had accomplished the impossible, I had indeed repaired the machine. I fastened the back in place, hooked up the hoses, plugged in the wires and turned it on. There was no response. Not a whir, not a squeak, not a ding, not a hum. Faced with this, I did what most men do at such a time of perplexity. I stared at it. When that didn’t seem to help, I pulled the back off and stared at the inside. That didn’t work either. I played push-me-pull-you with just about every wire and hose in there for the rest of the day, trying to troubleshoot the problem. In the process, I came to understand what the term ‘troubleshoot’ means, since I came close to  getting my gun to put the thing out of its’ misery and mine. Then, a dawn of light broke in my mind, a lifting of the veil of my own stupidity.  I remembered I had thoughtfully pulled the fuse which controlled the machine as a safety precaution when I first started to work on it. Gritting my teeth, I got up, plugged the fuse back in, and turned on the machine. It just hummed back at me. No clicks, no bells, no whistles, just hum. I turned it off and resorted to my previous tactic of staring. I stared at it all over. I pulled off the back cover, and stared some more, until I saw, hidden right under my nose, right in the middle, the problem. I had left a screwdriver blocking the gizmo thing from turning and letting the whatchamacallit slide back and forth. I pulled it out and tried to turn the machine on again. My breathing was deep and ragged. I was losing control. By this time, there was a laundry mountain resembling Everest where the molehill used to be. There was also a certain wifely Everest attitude as well. To whit, very high-and-mighty and very cold attitude where the forebearing molehill used to be. I tried to freeze her with a similar return glance and was freeze-dried in return by a single “Humph.” I decided to kill the machine. I admit, I lost my temper. Looking back, I think that’s all the machine really wanted. It wanted to get the better of me, and it did. I beat on it. I beat on it with wrenches, screwdrivers, hammers and anything else that came to hand. The